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Writing your own ceremony vows? read these tips first. .

Ceremony and Vows

Legal Requirements

  • Getting your license

You don’t have to include all these requirements but this is the basic wedding structure to add to or remove parts if need be:

  • Opening/welcome
  • Expression of intent: this is generally the part where couples say “I do”.
  • Readings, hymns and prayers: this is a great to honour people or cultural history.
  • Address or Sermon: the officiant will speak a bit about marriage or personal relationship.
  • Vows: these may be traditional or something you write yourself.
  • Ring ceremony: the rings are exchanged with ring vows.
  • Pronouncement: this is where the officiant announces you to the crowd.
  • The kiss

Secular wedding vows:

“Anna, I knew from the very moment I laid eyes on you that you were my forever. Someway, somehow, I was determined to make you mine. And from this day forward my heart is entirely yours….

As we continue to grow in our lives together, I promise to give you all of my words when needed, and to share in the silence when they are not, to pick you up if you are down, to love you unconditionally, to lay my bare skin on you when needed most, to care for you and our families for as long as we live, to adventure with you always, to say I love you before falling asleep each night, to be the best mom I can be as we grow a family together, and to always know in the deepest part of my soul, that when challenges arise we will always find our way back to one another.

Anna, you are my everything and this is my promise to you.” 

Paige : I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Leo : I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other. – The Vow

Ceremony and Vows

Start by addressing your partner by name. Add a compliment and follow by saying how this all makes you feel. 

  • (Partners Name) I stand here, today, a little nervous and very excited.
  • (Partners Name) who would have thought when we met that we would be standing here today?
  • (Partners Name) words cannot describe all the emotions I’m feeling right now.  I am the luckiest man in the world to be standing here with you today.
  • (Partners Name) you look absolutely beautiful,  and I can’t believe the day I get to marry my best friend has finally arrived.

 

The next bit is optional and if you want your vows shorter, cut it out!  Talk about how you felt when you met them, what captivated you, and how have they changed your life. 

  • From the moment our paths crossed, you’ve surprised me, distracted me, captivated me, and challenged me in ways I never knew possible.
  • Before I knew you, I had no idea what love really was.
  • I’ve fallen in love with you again and again, and I still can’t believe that, today, I get to marry you. I am clearly marrying up.
  • We have been through so much together, not all of it easy, but together, we have made it through all that life has thrown at us.

What do you want to promise to your partner? You can interchange the words, “promise”, “vow”, and “I will”, so it  doesn’t all sound the same.  Be honest and upfront. Choose 4-6 things you vow. 

  • I will communicate my needs and feelings in a way you can understand.
  • I will support and protect your freedom, because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours, alone, and I will continue to seek a deep understanding of your wishes, your desires, your fears, and your dreams.
  • I vow to respect, admire and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become, and to do my best to meet your needs, not out of obligation, but because it delights me to see you happy.
  • I promise to work together to keep our lives exciting, adventurous, and full of passion, persevering when times get tough, knowing that any challenges we face, we will conquer together.
  • I promise to take care of myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so that I can remain healthy and grow old by your side.
  • I will always remind you how awesome you are, inside and out, at least once a day, especially when you are not believing it for yourself.
  • I will be open and honest with you in all things.
  • I vow to be there for you, when you need me, and to nurture your goals and ambitions, supporting you through misfortune and celebrating with you in triumph.
  • I vow to love you (or honor you or make you laugh)
  • Cook you dinner, or other fun, less serious things that are specific to your relationship.

State what  you know about your relationship

  • No matter what life throws our way or how much time has passed, I know our love will never fade, and we will continue to grow side by side.
  • I believe in the truth of what we are.
  • Whatever life throws our way, we will accomplish together.
  • I know that year after year and wrinkle after wrinkle, our love will just become stronger.
  • I know life will not always be easy, but together, we can make the difficult times a lot more fun.

Choose a closing statement 

  • This is my promise, now and forever.
  • This is my sacred vow.
  • I will love you from this moment until my last.
  • My love for you will never fade.
  • Loving you is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
  • You have my heart and my soul, forever.
  • My heart belongs to you, now and forever.
  • Words do not describe how I feel, so I will simply say, I love you – always have and always will.

Tips from our readers:

‘I kinda did a bullet point thing first and then took what I thought was most important (or funny) and made it into sentences.’

‘We did ours and we used our personal words, phrases. Live, Laugh, Love is kinda our theme. And we used those words.’

‘I just chose a ‘theme/metaphor’ that describes our relationship and went for it. Rather than writing the vows in one sitting I kept adding notes on my phone, then sorted them in a logical order and added the transition/ connecting sentences. I capped mine at 3/4 of a page. I know FS will be suuper short and to the point (I’m more of a story teller), but our officiant will look over both to help us make them more aligned without seeing the other’s vows’

‘If you want to keep it a secret from each other I would recommend deciding on a format together! We did a paragraph on a little anecdote of our relationship and why we loved the other one, and then 4 vows to each other, although mine had a.few vows rolled into one’

 

Examples to get you started:

The traditional 
I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife,
to have and to hold, from this day forward.
I will always stand beside you, 
for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer,
in sickness and in health, for the rest of my life.

 

Partner 1 to Partner 2: 
To say I love you is not enough. 
There are no words to convey
the love I have for you,
how your smile touches my heart and soul,
how excited I am when I see you,
how comfortable I am with you and how silly we can be,
and how you helped me to be the woman/man that I always knew I could be.
I am proud to take you as my husband/wife, to give myself to you as your wife/husband,
your best friend, your love,
your number one fan, and your lifelong partner,
To share my life with you, to not only dream with you, but make those dreams reality.
I promise to be by your side always. I promise to respect you as an individual,
and grow as a person in partnership with you.
I promise to love you with all I have to give and all I feel inside, 
completely and forever, for our shared adventure in life, for infinity.

Partner 1 to Partner 2: 
To say I love you is not enough. 
There are no words to convey
how I feel in the morning when I wake up next to you
how I feel when I hear your voice
the excitement I feel when I know I’m going to see you
the happiness and love in my heart when we have time together.
I am proud to take you as my wife/husband, to give myself to you as your husband/wife,
your devoted partner, your love,
your companion, your best friend,
and the person who will love you for the rest of your life; 
to share the rest of life’s journey with you. 
I promise to respect you, care for you, shelter you, and love you,
for our shared adventure in life, for infinity. 

You don’t have to be too serious- The Wedding Singer

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is grow old with you.

I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches

build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.

I’ll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.

Need you, feed you, I’ll even let you hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink

Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink.

Oh I could be the man (or woman) to grow old with you

I wanna grow old with you.

List the promises you are making
I promise to be your true love, companion, and friend,
Your partner in parenthood,
Your ally in conflict,
Your greatest fan and your toughest adversary.
Your comrade in adventure,
Your student and your teacher,
Your consolation in disappointment, and 
Your accomplice in mischief.
I will be your strength when you need support and 
Will look to you for help when I am in need.
And most of all, I will love you for the rest of my life.

 

Mix Traditional with Personal

I wish to join my life with yours;
To stand by your side and sleep in your arms;
To be joy in your heart and food to your soul;
To work as partners and live as a family.
While we grow old together,
I vow to love, honor, and cherish you;
To hold you close to my heart
But not bind you to my will.
I will be with you, through struggles and pleasures, joys and sorrow.
I will stand beside you, for better for worse, for all the days of my life.

Additional Add Ons

“I promise to engage as an equal partner in every aspect of the life we are creating together, to share joys, sorrows, victories and the hard work that building a life together requires.” 

“I vow to honor our relationship as a haven of acceptance and belonging for you and for others.” 

“I vow to bring my strongest self to this relationship, to act with integrity, honesty, and fearless authenticity.” 

“I promise to travel to the edge with you, to seek a life that is thrilling, and to cherish the excitement of the unknown in adventures both near and far.” 

“I vow to reveal myself fully to you, to share an unfiltered journey of love and connection.” 

“I promise to be a guardian of your independent spirit, to encourage your freedom, and to offer spaciousness to your soul.” 

“I promise to pay loving attention to you and the life we are creating, to act with compassion and to live in a way that honors the interconnection of all beings.” 

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